I hadn’t thought much about this topic until tonight.
While preparing to make tonight’s cuisine, consisting of exquisite Angus beef chuck patties, I realized that I was missing some key ingredients. Not one to be completely discouraged, and mostly due to my hidden laziness, I determined to call tonight’s dinner “deconstructed hamburgers.” What I was really missing were all the condiments: lettuce, tomato, and anything else that may be considered a required accoutrement to the aforementioned dining experience.
I was somewhat excited because I didn’t have to slice and dice. Simply cook and eat. In fact, to accompany our buns and slabs I had purchased a bag of russet’s finest doused in BBQ flavoring. I was satisfied that dinner would be quick and satisfying. To ensure I met my maternal need to feel I’m at least touching the line of healthfulness, there was a side of pineapple-always packed in water, not thick gooey juice.
Onward to the cooking apparatus. I began with a medium-high heat to get the pain nice and prepared. I used the wide pain with ridges to add the grill marks we enjoy so much. The sizzle took shape, and I added some seasonings for the extra touch. I felt I could almost rise to Bob status from the famous or not-so cartoon variety…until the first few sputters and spews of the pan erupted. Certainly there would be a few splatters to clean, I thought to myself, and soldiered on. I was only cooking six after all.
Nay, nay. The sheer volume of liquid gold that accumulated on my stovetop, counter, knobs, handles, and floor was incredible. Thankful that I thought ahead-and you’ll also thank me for this cooking tip-I had placed foil around the stovetop so that, except for immediately beyond the reach of the foil, the stove under the tender tent was relatively clean. I say relatively because undoubtedly the grease likes to bounce, as some spits were found UNDER the foil (the audacity!).
It was hard work enjoying dinner. I wanted to ensure each morsel was satisfactory, for I knew that I was going to be the Lone Ranger cleaning up the fast food kitchen nightmare that awaited me. I am almost ashamed to admit that I must’ve used 16 paper towels cleaning the grime from my floor and surfaces. They were strong towels, but deserved the graveyard, and I just couldn’t face cleaning another thing after cleaning….
The outdoor grill sits a mere 10 paces away from my kitchen. If it weren’t 35 degrees outside I might’ve just grilled out there and closed the lid on a gloriously shiny mess.