It’s been challenging to transition through one decade and head to another. I am midlife, but am not sure I’m ready to either share the exact decade or which I’m heading into. Still, growing older can have challenges.
Naturally, most people in the West-if I can speak on behalf of most-have some level of excitement to transition into adulthood, and then specific decades of adulthood. An entire industry has been profiteering off of birthdays for so long. The idea that there are some hallmark birthdays also contributes to the hoopla: 18, 21, 30 and so on.
Heredity is a tough taskmaster from which there is no escape. Sure, there are tools, gimmicks, procedures, and medications to aide in some ailments, issues, and so on. We want to perform better, look better, be better, do better….there’s much to be said about contentment, is there not?
There are such internal microscopic things, though, that are so engrained, we simply cannot imagine how they become strong enough to show out. Didn’t we learn more about diet than our predecessors? Were we not more mindful of activity and muscle protection and development? Vitamins? Minerals….supplements? Then why are we more vulnerable to issues, maladies….hiccups to our selfish focus for enjoyment and lust for youth….?
I can’t be certain, so I can’t pontificate.
I also cannot speak to environmental impacts nor outside influences. I mean, we do rely on industries to be honest and present properly vetted options, right? Like, they aren’t attempting to sabotage our health through nefarious means, yes?
Anyway…
As I close this one long yet interesting chapter of my life, I’m floored by the amount of health issues that have begin to crop up. It’s like some garden I planted seeds into while sleeping or something. And yet…
Yet, there are some things that I know for a fact affected my grandparent(s), too. I can’t blame them, of course. What did they know? And, for that matter, the issues weren’t even named the same way as they are today. Take my grandmother, for example. She was bound to a wheelchair most of her adult life. She had multiple doctor appointments across years-but for what, I’m not sure. I want to say they called her condition, “acute arthritis.” But what if she had the same lame moniker for something doctors can’t figure out called: fibromyalgia? Or, what if she had rheumatoid arthritis versus osteoarthritis? I hadn’t have answers, only questions. Plus, anyone would could conjecture on the same are also gone.
I live with daily pain. I was once told I had “mild arthritis” in one knee. I think that’s a mistake. My knees sound like diapers when I walk up stairs. Both of them. I have pain throughout my body, especially when the weather changes. I also have more chronic pain in joints, particularly after doing a thing. For example, tomorrow my hands will ache because today I typed a lot. Not sure how to feel about it, let alone what to do.
One thing I do not do is share how bad it really is with anyone. I had tried, but to no avail. I simply cannot put into words how it feels. And then I don’t want to trouble my younger kids; it’s a burden they can’t bear since it’s not like they can solve it. It’s not quite the same as putting dirty clothes in the hamper or sweeping up crumbs. So, I suffer quietly.
There are days I want to stay in bed. Naturally that would make it much worse, so I get up.
There are days I’d rather unzip my body and step out, leaving the pain laden shell in a heap on the floor. I’d love to walk away. For that matter, I’d love to ski again, or go hiking, mountain biking, skating…
When the pain is there and I see doctors, I’ve done what I can do. Right? Isn’t that what I’m supposed to do?
Alas, heredity is a behemoth of a conundrum, wrapped in cellophane, and dipped in wax. It’s something to view and not something that can solve much. At least not today. For these issues. But someday, perhaps the right combination of effort, supplements, doctors, vitamins, therapy or whatever will pay off.